For each friend you have, ask yourself these questions:
- What is this person doing to significantly make a difference in my life?
- Is this difference negatively impacting me, or positively?
- Are they even impacting my life at all?
A few years ago, I hit this incredible intellectual growth that shocked the hell out of me. Now that I’m looking back, I can’t believe I used to be so superficial, and ignorant on a ton of worldly important topics. It was equivalent to living in a box.
But of course, while I was living in that box, it was no way for me to know that I was missing out on so much. I thought I knew everything that I needed to know at that time.
This ignorance was the result of me being surrounded by a bunch of friends who were in the same boat as me.
Imagine being locked in a jail cell since a very young age. You’ve made friends inside the jail that’s in there for similar reasons as you. You want to know what the outside world is like but obviously you’re very limited being that you’re inside a jail cell. You turn to your friends to ask them what it’s like, but obviously they’re limited as well being that they’re in there with you.
That is the equivalent of being surrounded by a group of friends (or acquaintances) who negatively impact your life.
Being surrounded by a group of friends who negatively impact your life, or just don’t impact your life at all are both equally BAD! I call these types of friends vampires. They’re literally sucking the life out of you! Years will go by and you’ll find yourself either still stuck in the same spot in life (with those friends) or, moving backwards.
The terrible thing about this is that it’s rare when people ever notice that this is happening to them. It usually take someone else outside their circle of friends that they really care about (usually a valued family member) to say something along the lines of “Hey, you’re slipping in life.”
What happened to me was completely different. I went through this phase of sudden revelation. Everything just kind of clicked into place. Sort of like, a higher power seen me headed down the wrong path and stopped me dead in my tracks!
After I blew all my friends off to find who I really was meant to be, I had to get used to the feeling of being alone and misunderstood.
It’s not that I became hard to understand, it’s that the people around me just simply weren’t on my level of understanding yet, and they still aren’t…but it’s okay.
If you can’t find friends who positively impact your life as of yet, it’s okay to be alone for a while. There are people out there who will match up with your intellect or even better who you can learn from!
Balance is the key. You have to balance the other person out, as well as they have to balance you out. There has to be something to give on both ends.
Becoming friends with someone who knows way more than you is a perfect example of this. You’ve gained new knowledge as they’ve gained someone to teach.
If you take a step back to look at all your friends individually and answer those three questions above about them, you will find out very quickly if you should keep them or kick them to the curb.
As no one wishes to lose a friend, I hope this passage doesn’t apply to you. If it does, I’m glad I could be of assistance.
Love you guys always, Shannon